Dumping the Inferiority Complex

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

This is the exact quote I used to begin the transformation process of my life.

I was in a marriage that was steadily going downhill. My confidence was at an all-time low. My life didn't feel like my own. Conversations with my partner included "you can't do..." and "you have to do..."

I don't even remember which magazine I found the quote in, but I cut it out and taped it to my mirror. I looked at that quote every day for two years.

By looking at these words every day for that two years, they started to take root. What sounded reasonable at first soon became my truth.

"...without your consent."

What an interesting thought! We have to consent to feeling inferior. We have to choose to own someone else's thoughts about us and make it our own in order for it to be.

What if you chose not to consent to it? What if you just decided that what someone else thought about you was not your truth?

What would your life be like?

Would you take a chance that your ideas could succeed?

Would you try something new?

Would you talk to people you've never talked to before?

Affirmations like this can be valuable. They do take root over time if you look at them daily.

Are there areas of your life where you feel inferior or less than confident?

You may find value in printing this quote out and putting it up on your mirror too. Let it take root in your heart and mind.

Dump the Inferiority Complex by dumping other people's ideas about you.

Choose your Truth.

~*~*~*~

Velma Gallant is an Author, Speaker, Trainer and Abundance Coach. She's a co-author in a best-selling book series with Mark Victor Hansen, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer called "Wake Up Live the Life you Love: Finding Personal Freedom". Velma is the creator of Living Abundant Joy where she interviewed 19 outrageously successful speakers, marketers and coaches on Abundance. She publishes a weekly e-newsletter called "Welcome Changes", which reaches over 45 countries around the world. Velma coaches entrepreneurs and business people to be abundantly successful in both business and life. You can visit Velma's website at http://www.WelcomeChanges.com, or reach her by email at velma@welcomechanges.com.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

“Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our
attitudes and expectations.”-- Earl Nightingale

It's been said before. The people around us are our mirrors.

The qualities in your friends that you love are qualities in you.

The qualities in those who frustrate, anger or upset you are mirroring you as well.

Yes. They are your mirrors as well.

A friend of mine reminded me of a wonderful exercise. (Thanks, M.)

I began thinking about how this little exercise could be used quite effortlessly in a "Dump and Flip" type of exercise.

I guess what I'll call it is the "Mirror and Flip". ;-)

Take a piece of paper, and fold it down the middle. On the left side of the paper, you will write (in pencil) those things people are "doing to you" or "not doing to/for you".

An example would be "my clients don't respect my time".

Now erase "my clients" and put "I". You end up with "I don't respect my time."

You may be thinking right now, "I do respect my time. That's why it frustrates me when my clients don't."

Let's take some time to think about this. If you truly respected your time, would you not put rules and boundaries in place? If your clients are calling you on Sunday, and Sunday is your family time, would you not set your phone up to automatically go to voicemail so you will not be tempted to answer?

Another example. "My spouse doesn't treat my business like a business." Are there ways that you don't treat your business like a business?

I have found that 99.9% of these things which frustrate me about others are truly a mirror for me and how I treat myself or those things that are important to me.

The next portion of the exercise is to take the Mirrors from the Left side of the page, and Flip them.

So "I don't respect my time" would become "I respect my time". "I don't treat my business like a business" would become "I treat my business like a business".

There is one more step to this exercise. It's a self-coaching step that you can incorporate to begin to make shifts on these "mirror moments".

For each of the Flips, ask yourself "What would it take to have me ..." and finish it off with your Flip.

For example, "What would it take to have me respect my time?" You may decide that it's turning the ringer off on your phone during your off-hours.

This little exercise should take no more than 5 minutes of your time, the possibilities of growth and change are incredible.

The next time someone does something truly frustrating, get out a piece of paper and play with the "Mirror and Flip" exercise.

You'll find some really great awarenesses, and through self-coaching will make wonderful shifts in your expectations and experience.

~*~*~*~

Velma Gallant is an Author, Speaker, Trainer and Abundance Coach. She's a co-author in a best-selling book series with Mark Victor Hansen, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer called "Wake Up Live the Life you Love: Finding Personal Freedom". Velma is the creator of Living Abundant Joy where she interviewed 19 outrageously successful speakers, marketers and coaches on Abundance. She publishes a weekly e-newsletter called "Welcome Changes", which reaches over 45 countries around the world. Velma coaches entrepreneurs and business people to be abundantly successful in both business and life. You can visit Velma's website at http://www.WelcomeChanges.com, or reach her by email at velma@welcomechanges.com.

The Struggle

I was inspired by this article and wished to share it with you.

The Struggle

What do butterflies have in common with the human spirit? Meet Maggie, a middle aged wife and mother who was about to find out.

Maggie wasn't rich like a millionaire or poor in a manner of being homeless. She was living an average comfortable life. It was made even better when a beautiful baby girl came her way. Maggie and her husband made sure their daughter had her needs met and they were still able to take a yearly vacation by the beach.

Maggie was a partner in her husband's business. They both had a different set of duties which kept everything in balance. One day a devastating blow came to her husband's business, and over a three year period the business dropped out of site. Her husband had to totally reinvent himself and was yearning to fulfill a dream with a new vocation. She was happy for him and supported him fully, but still the money was not coming in.

Maggie began to feel guilty that she wasn't contributing with any kind of income. It had been a long time since she had worked outside the home and had to work for someone else. Needless to say she was scared but still had faith that everything would be OK. She began job hunting and found it somewhat difficult in filling out applications, especially the part asking for job references. Keep in mind that she was self-employed with her husband for almost 20 years. It felt as though that didn't count for anything as she was never called for an interview.

At the time she was job hunting her mom became more ill than she had been and ended up in the hospital for a week. Once Maggie's mom returned home she became her mom's helper one day a week. She did the shopping, changed sheets, vacuumed and did other things that her mother was not able to do anymore. Of course her mom would pay her for her time and labor but she still felt she needed to find another source of income.

One of the first applications she had filled out finally came through. She passed the interview with flying colors and was told she was "exactly" what they were looking for. Although it was only part time it was exactly what she wanted. It was important for her to be home when her daughter arrived home from school. She was told they would be in touch when the schedule was ready. Knowing she had the job made her feel contented and productive again.

Within a few weeks though, she received an e-mail saying that the company had changed the job into a full time position and she was not qualified. Maggie was devastated. She felt betrayed and felt she had been lied to. That evening she was alone as her husband and daughter had gone out for the night. She welcomed the aloneness and wanted to drown her sorrows in a hot tub of bubbles.

As she knew she would, she began to cry, softly at first just from the sheer pain of being rejected. Three long years of struggle had finally caught up with her. Then she became angry; angry at everything from the circumstances that got her there, to God himself. She cried harder and yelled, "What do you want me to do?" She really felt that God had abandoned her.

When she was able to cry no more, she became exhausted and gave up. It was at that moment that a silent idea came to her to offer other elderly people home care assistance.

Using another talent for computers she printed off some flyers and cards and distributed them to her church, grocery stores and even placed a small ad in the newspaper. Within a week she had procured two new clients.

Now, even though she's not a CEO of a major company or a power player she feels happy and productive again. So, had God really abandoned her? Let's look at nature for the lessons and the answer.

Before a butterfly can emerge out of it's chrysalis it has to go through a lot of struggling. Yes, struggling. Each time it lunges out to escape, acids are being removed from its wings. If someone were to come along and break the chrysalis open for it then the butterfly would die from those acids. In essence the struggle is necessary for the butterfly to survive. Then in the stillness, when the struggle is over, the butterfly can come out and share its beauty with the world.
We as humans are not any different. There are times that we need to struggle, to rid ourselves of the acids that make up sadness, fear, and anger. It is only at this time when we are exhausted and still that we begin to hear the Universe whisper to us.

Tony Masiello, © 2006

Tony Masiello is a Speaker, Author and Consultant. You can learn about is e-book, Whispers From The Universe at: www.whispersfromtheuniverse.com or visit Tony's website at: www.universalinsight.com